Every Day, I'm Brave

Renee ZukinĀ®

Pavlov's Strawberry

My therapist and I talked today about the OCD loop from last week. He had some new ideas about what I could try moving forward, if I was willing. Over the last two years, I've done some seriously good work to overcome many things that give rise to panic and anxiety, but I've not been willing to work on the food stuff. It is truly the biggest challenge for me, and I have to confront it regularly.

I have a running list in my head of the foods I won't or can't eat. (Having real food sensitivities compounds the issue) so it's often easier to list the things I will eat. I'll spare you the time and details for now, but let's just say that nearly everything I eat is pretty boring. Especially when one is eating the same thing for days...

We went back to the basics of psychology. Remember Pavlov's dog? Well, humans aren't much different. We are conditioned to respond to triggers, cues, and environments based on what has been paired up in our brains. How many of you hear a cell...

Continue Reading...

Got the time?

Earlier today, I was pondering the "what do I write about today?" question and took my own advice from a previous blog post and googled "journal prompts." It's a literal gold mine out there, people, so don't hesitate to look there.

One site I found not only has the daily prompts, but a space for others to leave their aha moments and responses, so if you need a little deeper inspiration you can find it there: https://grateful.org/practice/daily-questions/

I scrolled through the Grateful Living site and picked this: "When I view the time available to me with a sense of abundance, what arises?"

I chuckled at the concept of an abundance of time because it often feels like every moment of my life is spoken for--even though a lot of it is the stuff I have intentionally chosen to fill it with. Maybe you can relate? When the busyness of life gets to be too much, how can we shift our perspective to feel more abundant with time?

I think it has to do more with micro moments than...

Continue Reading...

Dear Procrastination... We're Breaking Up

Dear Procrastination:

I know we have been together for a long, long time. I remember vividly the first time we had a big fight. I was in 5th grade, and I had this glorious vision of the art project that I wanted to proudly display in the storefront window of our community's then lone mall. It was going to be pretty special for our class to get to do that. I wanted to create a real work of art, full of color and fabric, a design I could see so clearly in my mind's eye. But every time we were supposed to work on it, you'd show up and tell me stories, get me to talk to my friends, even line up the markers by rainbow color over and over... and then the bell would ring and I'd have nothing done.

Weeks went by like this, and on the last work day I stared at a blank canvas, a poster cut into the shape of a head and legless mannequin that I had nothing to dress it with but a few random pieces of string, and markers that I drew haphazard lines with in different colors. When it came time to...

Continue Reading...

Showing Up

I am showing up.

In whatever way that ends up being: body in process, tired mind, here.

Some days it's the bare minimum, but what matters is keeping our agreements to ourselves.

It's not about the number of words, or the magnitude of the message.

Today, it's about doing what I said I was going to do.

It's about being a writer who writes.

And I'm here. 

And so are you.

So maybe you can give yourself permission to show up as you are.

To just do the thing.

And then rest. 

Continue Reading...

Caught in a Loop

Yesterday I got seriously stuck in an OCD loop. It's something that rarely happens, but the combined energy of roaring PMS, a brief argument with my partner, and maybe some planet in retrograde made it so that I had to keep assuring myself that the dishes I had just put away were in fact clean.

I was preparing my breakfast and had taken a bowl down from the cabinet and filled it with a half a cup of dry oats. Then the intrusive question came: Did I actually run the dishwasher last night?

The doubt settles in. I go back in my mind and retrace my steps. I see myself putting the soap in, pressing start, turning the clean/dirty magnet on its side--the cue to anyone in the house that the dishwasher is running and not to open it. 

When I came into the kitchen this morning the magnet had been on its side, but the "clean" light was off. Someone had opened it before I put the dishes away. Because I didn't see the light on with my own eyes, it triggered more doubt.

I am...

Continue Reading...

Productive Distraction

I'm really good at distracting myself with "other important work tasks."  For example, I opened my laptop today with the sole intention of writing this blog post. Instead, what I did first was spend about 20-30 minutes going down the tech rabbit hole to try and figure out how to get my RSS feed to automatically send my subscribers a new email every time I post. 

I thought I had it down, I researched and found the steps - but my platform doesn't speak the same language as the steps I found and I'm at a loss. Multiple google searches and chat bot sessions later, I'm no further and it's Saturday, so I have to wait until Monday to talk to a real person.

All that is to say that my initially thought of "Oh, I'll set this up before I post the blog so my subscribers get it" instead of sticking to my original intention to open my laptop and write set me up for a common pattern I've had where I'm rushing to get the thing I intended to do done because I got distracted by other tasks....

Continue Reading...

True of False?

Uncategorized May 17, 2024

Does the way we show up matters more than just showing up?

My mind immediately goes to "well that depends."

And that's the thing about dichotomies; I tend to not like them.

So much rests on the context of what we are defining as Truth, as there are few absolutes in this world:

We live, we die.

But even then, I'm like, "wait, if we are speaking in the context of energy that only transforms like they taught us in science class, than there is less of a true dichotomy between living and dying" 

It is the reality of this current Earthly existence (context) and so yeah, maybe that's True as true can be. But again, context.

What is true for you might not be true for me, and I suppose this is why we have so much trouble in society today. We don't allow others to have their own truth so much. We expect people to choose:

Vegan or Carnivore

Left or Right

Man or Woman

Happy or Sad

and then we expect them to never change.

I guess I'm thinking about a lot of different things...

Continue Reading...

Diagnosis: A Clear Map

Last night, as I scrolled through Facebook, a friend of mine revealed she was looking for remote work. Having recently been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, she is hoping for a way to make money without having to leave home while she works through next steps. 

As someone who wasn't accurately diagnosed with OCD until my 30s, I was filled with so many mixed emotions upon reading her post. I was glad that she had that clarity, and I immediately wanted to reach out and help her (I also work remotely and it is game changing in so many ways).

For me, receiving an OCD diagnosis after years of battling anxiety and depression meant I would have a more accurate map to managing symptoms of intrusive thoughts, safety behaviors, and avoidance. Correlated with the panic that often comes along for the ride, the knowledge was empowering for me. I'm hoping my friend feels a sense of that as well. 

As a rebel, I don't like to be categorized too much. I feel that putting labels...

Continue Reading...

On Rest

"What message wants to come through today?"

I take a moment to ground myself, feeling the floor beneath my feet and imagining thick roots growing out from the soles of my feet and moving through the floor boards, into the Earth, as deep and wide as the tendrils wish to go. 

I breathe.

And breathe again.

With eyes closed, I turn my face upwards and imagine a bright, golden sun beaming its warmth on my skin. Shimmering light flows through the top of my head and all through my body.

I breathe.

And breathe again.

"What message wants to come through today?"

Rest.

Rest in the knowing that the Universe has your back, that your dream is not too indulgent or impossible, that you have all the time you need, and that choices will define your path.

Rest in the possibility of a Way opening up that you never would have imagined if you hadn't rested, realigned, and made space for what you needed when you needed it.

Rest in the beauty that lies before you: the song of a bird, the luscious...

Continue Reading...

What Should I Write?

In the car this morning, I ran through some possibilities of what I might write about today. One of the things I often think about but never seem to execute is planning my writing topics. I have visions of this neatly organized thematic table with quotes, ideas, and calls to action pulled together for months of content.

Maybe this is a dream of yours, too? Whether for a consistent blog, or for your social media marketing and visibility we know that structure and organization will allow us to show up more consistently (if that's your goal), will allow your readers and viewers to feel more held (and if we're lucky, even excited about what's coming next), and it allows you to do some work in bulk, schedule posts ahead of time, and have a little more freedom for other parts of your writing or entrepreneurial life.

But when forming a new habit, or reigniting an old one like I am, it's also important to not pile on too many perfectionist tendencies. I didn't make that nice organized...

Continue Reading...
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Close

Gain Freedom from Fear

Subscribe to the blog to learn about new posts and other eventsĀ to support & inspire.