New Therapist, Who Dis?
So, a couple weeks ago I started with a new therapist.
Dr. T, who was the amazing psychologist I worked with on and off for more than 10 years, retired at the end of 2021. Dr. T referred me to this new guy because he helped mentor him and knew it would be a good fit.
Dr. T was right, and even though it took 6 months to get an appointment with Mr. New Guy (post about our healthcare system needing funding and support another time...), I'm glad I got in to see him ...and whoa, is it intense--in the best of ways.
Some of you know me pretty well and have seen my stories and struggles over the years with OCD and anxiety. I talk openly about the importance of mental health and finding ways to cope and heal that work for each individual. There are always peaks and valleys with this work, like life itself, it ebbs and flows.
Mr. New Guy has an in depth approach to diagnosis and treatment--which, if I'm consistent, will lead to quick transformation (especially since I've been down this road before).
Seeing bits of myself quantified in these new ways was eye opening. I knew I was far down the rabbit hole in a number of areas of my life, but how far down was a little surprising. You just keep living your life and tackling whatever is right in front of you, you know? But seeing it reflected back to me and accepting where I am is absolutely the first step up and out.
To literally no one's surprise, coming out of this pandemic hasn't been easy. Central to the experience of OCD, Anxiety, Panic, & Phobias is avoiding the things that trigger panic attacks or the very real physiological symptoms of anxiety.
The problem is, of course, that the list of triggers can grow and suddenly you realize, especially after being home for a long, long, long time, that instead of creating a beautiful, safe bubble, you have rebuilt the bars of a prison you escaped from once before.
I'm learning new tools. I am seeing new perspectives. I'm resistant, too, and scared. But I'm doing the work. And I know you are too, in whatever way you need, and I love you for it.
It's messy and vulnerable and fucking hard as hell, but we keep going because there are beautiful parts, too, and the rewards far outweigh the risks.
We continue to be brave, every day.
